I have sucked at blogging more than usual lately. I'm sorry that it's been over a week since I've last posted. Things are going well with the pregnancy. I'm starting to feel better, although I still have occasional barfing sessions. Here are some random thoughts and happenings of the past week:
We used the Doppler several days ago and I found the heartbeat right away which was very exciting. Usually it would take me 5-10 minutes to find the heartbeat by which point I would start to get panicky and freak out which somehow would come across as complete bitchiness to R who is always next to me while I Doppler. The heartbeat was also a bit higher up on my belly so it was nice not to have to get the slimy goop all over my pubic hairs.
I have a bump now and am very excited about it. I know most of it is fat and not my actual uterus but to me I look pregnant (to others I probably look fat - like I have one hell of a poochy belly). I'm all about cute little dresses and clothes that show off my bump. I even had someone touch my belly - granted she knows I'm pregnant, but none the less, someone besides R touched my belly. I'm sure that will eventually get annoying but for now, I'm thrilled.
I felt I needed to buy new underwear because my old ones are ending up up my ass all day long (and they're not thongs, so they really shouldn't be up my ass). While at target last week, I bought a 2 pack of Haines cotton bikini's. They seemed comfy looking and I figured they would do the trick. To me the term bikini implies that there is anywhere from an elastic waistband to up to maybe 2 inches of fabric on the sides. I swear that's what the picture on the packet showed. Needless to say, I'm now sporting Bridget Jones underwear. As soon as I put these on, I wanted to speak in a British accent and write in a diary. For the love of god - these things are huge and look absolutely hideous. For being this big and ugly one would think that they would be the most comfortable underwear on the planet and I'm sorry to say, they are only moderately comfortable - although they are certainly not up my ass.
Monday, May 21, 2007
Thursday, May 10, 2007
1 in 10,000
Today was just so amazing! We had our first u/s this morning at my OB appt (that's 1st u/s of the day but 5th over all for the pregnancy). Everything looked great. The baby is actually measuring 2 days ahead which is great (my first m/c always measured behind).
The much more exciting part came this afternoon with our second u/s of the day. It was done at a diagnostic center and it was the nuchal thickness u/s. Their equipment is so amazing - way better than anything at the RE's office or at the OB's office. They had a big flat screen up on the wall for us to watch. The doctor took all the measurements and showed us all sorts of baby parts (stomach, kidneys, heart chambers, feet, hands, brain, umbilical arteries, placenta...) and then he switched over into 4D. OMG - it was fucking amazing. The baby is only 6cm big (lime size) but seeing him/her on the big flat screen was beyond cool. I'll definitely be doing one of those 4D u/s at the mall later on. So with the nuchal fold thickness measurement (he took several - I guess they average them out but he measured 1.1, 1.36 and 1.44) and the blood work, the genetic counselor we met with afterwards said our risk of a child with DS or trisomy 13 or 18 is 1 in 10,000. I'm thrilled. After yesterday's big news, I could not handle any more bad news.
The 2 pictures above - the one on the left is a head on of the baby (both eye sockets are visible and it's arms are up). It looks like a little alien. The one on the left is a profile shot.
And from the fancy doc -
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
Falling apart, just a little
Not to worry, everything is OK with the pregnancy. I hit the 12 week mark today and tomorrow I'll have an OB appt in the morning and my nuchal fold u/s in the afternoon.
However today I got some devastating news. My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer today. She had a biopsy last week after something was seen on her mammogram. My mom is not the most doctor happy person, so the fact that got a mammogram is remarkable. (She's very healthy. She's 63 and she runs several miles per day, plays tennis several times per week, rarely drinks and has never smoked and thus feels that she doesn't need to see a doctor). We have no family history of breast cancer (as in not a single person on my mom's side of the family - not any of my mom's 9 siblings or my grandmother's 8 siblings or any of their children). This came as a complete shock.
My mom called me at lunch today. She's actually doing ok. She said, "it is what it is and we must face it head on". I of course wanted details - like what kind of breast cancer. Not surprisingly she couldn't remember the name of it or any major details, other than her surgeon told her he recommends a modified radical mastectomy. Luckily she did manage to tell her doctor that her daughter is a doctor and he gave her his cell number and told her to have me call him so he could explain everything to me. I did speak to the him later and got the full scoop. I agree with him about the mastectomy and want him to do it soon. My mom lives cross country, so I'll be there later this month for my little brother's high school graduation. We're hoping he can do the surgery during the week that we're there so we can take care of her.
So I know I'm rambling but I did want to share with you a bit about my mom. My mom came to the US in her late 20's when her company opened a branch here (she's from South America). She met my biological dad (aka sperm donor) and they were together for several years but he split when she got pregnant with me (I've never met him). My mom raised me on her own. While looking back, I know that she struggled for many years to make ends meet as a single mom. She managed to start her own company and made something of herself. It was just my mom and I for many years - she met my "dad" when I was about 10 1/2 and they married when I was 12. My brother came along a year later (she's one of those super-fertiles who us infertiles love to hate - she got pg naturally at age 46). Through everything, my mom has been my number one supported and one of my best friends. I know she'll beat this but I'm scared. I don't like thinking about my mom's mortality. I'm carrying her first grandchild and I need her to be around for many years. Our baby needs her to be around.
However today I got some devastating news. My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer today. She had a biopsy last week after something was seen on her mammogram. My mom is not the most doctor happy person, so the fact that got a mammogram is remarkable. (She's very healthy. She's 63 and she runs several miles per day, plays tennis several times per week, rarely drinks and has never smoked and thus feels that she doesn't need to see a doctor). We have no family history of breast cancer (as in not a single person on my mom's side of the family - not any of my mom's 9 siblings or my grandmother's 8 siblings or any of their children). This came as a complete shock.
My mom called me at lunch today. She's actually doing ok. She said, "it is what it is and we must face it head on". I of course wanted details - like what kind of breast cancer. Not surprisingly she couldn't remember the name of it or any major details, other than her surgeon told her he recommends a modified radical mastectomy. Luckily she did manage to tell her doctor that her daughter is a doctor and he gave her his cell number and told her to have me call him so he could explain everything to me. I did speak to the him later and got the full scoop. I agree with him about the mastectomy and want him to do it soon. My mom lives cross country, so I'll be there later this month for my little brother's high school graduation. We're hoping he can do the surgery during the week that we're there so we can take care of her.
So I know I'm rambling but I did want to share with you a bit about my mom. My mom came to the US in her late 20's when her company opened a branch here (she's from South America). She met my biological dad (aka sperm donor) and they were together for several years but he split when she got pregnant with me (I've never met him). My mom raised me on her own. While looking back, I know that she struggled for many years to make ends meet as a single mom. She managed to start her own company and made something of herself. It was just my mom and I for many years - she met my "dad" when I was about 10 1/2 and they married when I was 12. My brother came along a year later (she's one of those super-fertiles who us infertiles love to hate - she got pg naturally at age 46). Through everything, my mom has been my number one supported and one of my best friends. I know she'll beat this but I'm scared. I don't like thinking about my mom's mortality. I'm carrying her first grandchild and I need her to be around for many years. Our baby needs her to be around.
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
Trade ya
I've recently traded one misery for another. My nausea is greatly improved. Sunday morning I was able to walk into the kitchen. That is a huge step! Normally walking into the kitchen would either send me running for the toilet or more often I didn't think I could make it and would throw up in the kitchen sink. It's amazing, I'm cured!
I did however manage to pick up the world's worst cold. I know exactly which kid gave it to me. I'm very paranoid about all the germs from my patients but one day last week this little kid coughed right in my face. There was nothing I could do about it. I was horrified but I couldn't get away. I usually wear a mask around kids that are coughing a lot but this kid wasn't. Well not until I got close to him and asked him to open his mouth so I could look into it. Instead he coughed and I could feel droplets hit my face. Sure enough my symptoms started Sunday - the same glorious day in which my morning sickness resolved.
I am absolutely miserable. I did work yesterday (while wearing a mask). I'm sure nothing brings more confidence to a new mother than to have your pediatrician wearing a mask and sounding like a man (obviously if your pediatrician is a man, that latter part is OK). My throat is on fire and I can't breath, so my voice is quite manly. By the end of the day, I was spent. I had chills and my temp had climbed up to 99.9. I know that's technically not a fever. I spend a great portion of my day telling parents what is and isn't a fever and also that a fever is the body's natural reaction against the illness and is actually a good thing. However when you are 11 1/2 weeks pregnant and just getting this far is a major accomplishment, you freak out about 99.9. Therefore today, I took the day off.
I have been taking Tyle.nol but nothing else. We have a nifty magnet from our OB that lets us know what meds are safe. The safe meds include suda.fed which at this point sounds like the most wonderful drug ever. However, I know that suda.fed makes my heart race and makes me all jittery. I'm not ready to turn my kid into a meth junkie just yet. I don't recommend suda.fed for children under 12 months of age, especially since there have been several deaths in under 6 month olds in the past few years, so why would it be OK for an almost 12 week old fetus. Instead I will suffer and bitch about it to all of you. OK going back to bed now.
I did however manage to pick up the world's worst cold. I know exactly which kid gave it to me. I'm very paranoid about all the germs from my patients but one day last week this little kid coughed right in my face. There was nothing I could do about it. I was horrified but I couldn't get away. I usually wear a mask around kids that are coughing a lot but this kid wasn't. Well not until I got close to him and asked him to open his mouth so I could look into it. Instead he coughed and I could feel droplets hit my face. Sure enough my symptoms started Sunday - the same glorious day in which my morning sickness resolved.
I am absolutely miserable. I did work yesterday (while wearing a mask). I'm sure nothing brings more confidence to a new mother than to have your pediatrician wearing a mask and sounding like a man (obviously if your pediatrician is a man, that latter part is OK). My throat is on fire and I can't breath, so my voice is quite manly. By the end of the day, I was spent. I had chills and my temp had climbed up to 99.9. I know that's technically not a fever. I spend a great portion of my day telling parents what is and isn't a fever and also that a fever is the body's natural reaction against the illness and is actually a good thing. However when you are 11 1/2 weeks pregnant and just getting this far is a major accomplishment, you freak out about 99.9. Therefore today, I took the day off.
I have been taking Tyle.nol but nothing else. We have a nifty magnet from our OB that lets us know what meds are safe. The safe meds include suda.fed which at this point sounds like the most wonderful drug ever. However, I know that suda.fed makes my heart race and makes me all jittery. I'm not ready to turn my kid into a meth junkie just yet. I don't recommend suda.fed for children under 12 months of age, especially since there have been several deaths in under 6 month olds in the past few years, so why would it be OK for an almost 12 week old fetus. Instead I will suffer and bitch about it to all of you. OK going back to bed now.
Thursday, May 03, 2007
Good and Bad News
I had hoped to share good news with you this week. Unfortunately it seems R's FET is another chemical pregnancy. We'll have the second beta to confirm it tomorrow but beta #1 was 8 on 8dp6dt (14dpo). All the baby dust in the world can not make an 8 sound good. We're actually doing ok. R didn't have much hope for this cycle with the knowledge that FET's have lower success rates than fresh IVFs. I had hope, I always have hope. That damn hope. I'm an optimist by nature (except after my dead baby experiences when I retreated into a dark place but now I'm back to my rose colored glasses life). R has accepted it for what it is and is actually excited about enjoying her summer. We're also excited about not being pregnant together. We know it was nuts, it's just at this point we're willing to accept nuts. R will try again in August with another fresh cycle (IVF #3).
As for my pregnancy, I'm doing well. Yesterday was the first day that I didn't puke!!! It was great. I only gagged twice and one time was while brushing my teeth which is just a given. (I used to floss daily but since getting pregnant, I can barely brush my teeth much less floss. I've tried a few times but can only do my front teeth. As soon as the back of my throat senses anything back there, it starts gagging). Today, it's back to puking. This morning stomach acid came out of my nose. That is not supposed to happen. My nose was on fire. It felt like I had burned a hole through my septum.
In happier news, we heard the heartbeat for the first time on Tuesday night! It was so amazing. I timed it - it was 160! The baby is still alive and now we can check in on it! Only 1 more week until my next u/s. It'll actually be 2 u/s in 1 day. I have an OB appt in the morning in which I know they'll do an u/s. Then in the afternoon, I go for my nuchal thickness u/s. I can't wait to see my little kickboxer. It was so active last time.
As for my pregnancy, I'm doing well. Yesterday was the first day that I didn't puke!!! It was great. I only gagged twice and one time was while brushing my teeth which is just a given. (I used to floss daily but since getting pregnant, I can barely brush my teeth much less floss. I've tried a few times but can only do my front teeth. As soon as the back of my throat senses anything back there, it starts gagging). Today, it's back to puking. This morning stomach acid came out of my nose. That is not supposed to happen. My nose was on fire. It felt like I had burned a hole through my septum.
In happier news, we heard the heartbeat for the first time on Tuesday night! It was so amazing. I timed it - it was 160! The baby is still alive and now we can check in on it! Only 1 more week until my next u/s. It'll actually be 2 u/s in 1 day. I have an OB appt in the morning in which I know they'll do an u/s. Then in the afternoon, I go for my nuchal thickness u/s. I can't wait to see my little kickboxer. It was so active last time.
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