I wish I had time to blog but I don't. Work has been quite busy. I don't really have down time. I used to blog when patients didn't show but now they're all showing up lately and I also have tons of patient phone calls and e-mails to return. I would also blog during lunch but I have meetings most days and now twice per week R and Hudson come visit for R's antepartum testing.
As for at home, I'm even busier at home than I am at work. R is 33.5 wks along now and I'm determined to keep these kids in until at least 37 weeks but ideally 38 weeks (ha, as if I have any control). Just a warning that I'm about to complain - a lot. I'm doing everything at home - I get home from work and BF Hudson. I then make dinner and we eat. I then BF Hudson again and put him to bed (I then pump to try to increase my milk supply). Then the chores start. I clean the kitchen, wash all my pumping supplies, clean the litter boxes, sometimes vacuum (our dog, a Siberian husky is totally shedding), straighten up the house, go through mail, pay bills (that's probably a task R could do while on her butt all day I refuse to give up control of that one - I'm too much of a math geek and budget nazi). Sometimes I'll add in fun stuff like cleaning the bathrooms but that's usually reserved for weekends. Weekends also include running all the errands that need to be done like grocery shopping, going to the bank, the post office, Tar*get... Meanwhile R is usually in bed cuddling with Hudson while taking a nap when I get home from work and then while I'm doing chores, she's soaking in the hot tub. It seems a little unfair. She's big and uncomfortable so she's often grouchy. I know she's appreciative of all I'm doing but when she gets grouchy, I get super bitchy right back at her. It makes for fun times in our house. Granted if she were to do any of my chores I would get way more pissed off at her. I want her to take it easy. I don't want her getting up much, especially now that she's 1cm dilated and 70% effaced. Holy shit that freaked me out yesterday. I totally pushed for the steroid shots (usually not done after 32 weeks) just in case the pipsqueaks come early. So now I've even forbidden her to do laundry (a task that I'm usually not allowed to do as I tend to dry things that shouldn't be dried) - add one more chore to my list, one more thing for me to bitch about.
I try to make it to bed by 10 which has now become 11 by the time I finish my chores and then pump. Hudson has been waking up around 12:45 but goes right back to sleep when I pop his pacifier in his mouth, although it does mean getting up and going to his room to do that. He gets up around 3am to feed and then I pump after that feeding. He's also been fussing again around 5:45 at which time again, the pacifier satisfies him until 7:30 when I start my day with him by BF before heading off to work.
Thank you to all of those who have offered advice about my supply issues. Plain and simple my supply sucks and not much makes a difference. I have found a somewhat local (US)pharmacy to compound the domperidone and I'm expecting it to arrive any day now! I'm hoping it's the wonder drug. I think my body just doesn't make much in the way of hormones - I mean my progesterone level was 3 when I got pregnant. Had it not been for PIO, Hudson would not exist. Hell, I don't really ovulate much on my own, again, I had to rely on drugs for that so why the hell would my body produce adequate breast milk without meds. God I hope it works for me as well as the injectable fertility meds did and the PIO did.
Thanks all for letting me bitch. I needed to vent and I'm sure my wife is tired of me bitching to (and at times at) her. I guess with 2 more kids my life is only going to get busier so I might as well get used to it - although it will be nice to have help with chores, and an extra set of boobs!
***UPDATE: The domperidone arrived!
About Me
- Steph
- Wife, Mom, Daughter, Pediatrician, Breastfeeding-baby-wearing Mommy to 3 beautiful babes that took us a long time to get with many ups & downs along the way.
13 comments:
Any reason why you guys don't have a cleaner?
It's made such a difference to our relationship just to take that 'you didn't - I did' dynamic out of it.
I remember in the final weeks of pregnancy Nicole and I went for a walk and she said to me, in a rather abrasive way, "It's painful to walk this slow!!" And she meant it. I found myself making excuses: "Oh, don't mind me, carrying your babies around...blah blah". It is supposed to be such a great time in life, but it always seems to be tense and stressful, for both parents.
But your role right now is so hard. SO hard. I cannot imagine working, bfing, taking care of a pregnant-with-twins partner AND managing ALL of the household tasks.
Since you are the only one working right now, it is very important to make sure that you can go off to work everyday and do your job, since it is your job that is supporting your family. That is how I see it with Nicole. She works and pays all the bills so I need to try to make sure she is able to do that by lessening the load for her at home. This is not groundbreaking...I am sure many people follow this paradigm. But, obviously, a pregnant woman can't take care of everything at home, so that leaves you stretched very very thin.
These final weeks with twins are just ridiculous. I would imagine it is like the last days of a singleton pregnancy...but it lasts for weeks for those of us with two babies in there. Once the babies come and you settle into life it will be much easier. MUCH easier.
In the meantime, are there any temporary solutions you can do? Like maybe hire a housekeeper for a few weeks? Or pay a student to help with those sort of things? Order in dinners for the final weeks? Make mass batches of food to live off of for a while? I am sure you have thought of all of this and probably prefer NOT to spend the extra $$ with two babies on the way, but the way i see it, it is just a temporary financial burden that might really help you all.
I still am so impressed that you are BFing. My milk supply was crap and I stopped by 4 months. I so wish i could have continued.
Damn do I know where you are coming from. Only I'm the one in bed. I'm sorry that you are so stressed. I guess the fact that this will be over in a matter of weeks is probably only a small consulation.
You need to have your wife look in to a cheap and local cleaning service. That would be WELL worth the $80.00-100.00. Seriously...you'd spend that much on a nice meal for the two of you...why not spend it on something to de-stress. Have them stay on for a month or so while you settle in with your new babies.
If I lived closer and was not miserably carrying twins too...I'd TOTALLY make you a casserole for dinner ;)
I'm very sorry that you are crazy right now. If it helps just think that your wife is in pain when she rolls over, when she tries to get up to pee, when she takes naps with Hudson, and even when she climbs in and out of that big ol nice hot tub.
Soon your fights will all be due to a complete lack of sleep :)
I hope the donperidone works. it werked fer me !
Describing what your day looks like has made me ready to call it a day...that sounds exhausting! Yet, you're trooping through and taking care of all that needs to be done. I second mikhela's suggestion of getting help with the cleaning. This was always such a hot topic in my relationship and relieved so much stress when we invited the cleaning gnomes to come by once every 3-4 weeks.
Soon, the baby-making segment of your life will be completed and you'll be able to find a groove in parenting 3 babes with R, and I think it'll be much better. Make sure you find a way to take care of yourself in the process. You give, give, give to everyone around you all day long. A walk by yourself, an ice cream cone, or a yoga class- whatever works, but make sure you're somehow giving back to yourself or you'll get burned out.
Mercy! I'm tired just reading your post. And today is not a good day for me as Bella was up about every 2 hours last night. Oy!! I seriously agree with PP about hiring someone to come in and clean so you can relax a bit, or at least not be so 'on the go'.
Oh thank goodness, you two are human! I was beginning to think you were SUPER women for doing it all and not complaining!!! You're doing an amazing job, AMAZING job handling it all.
What everyone else has already says makes sense. Obviously you have to do what works for you guys.
I know each day must seem endless at this point.
Just try to carve a minute or two out of your day for yourself too. Even if it's just taking a couple deep breaths before getting out of the car and into the house or work! Or getting a bag of M&M's or anything you like.
You just gave me a new appreciation for my ex-husband. (well, he was my husband at the time!) I was also on bedrest for three weeks before I delivered at 34 weeks, and I guess I never really thought about how much he had to take care of, all on his own, while I lay there.
That being said, now that I really see what he had to do for me 12 years ago, I can't even imagine how much MORE is on YOUR plate, seeing how are also caring for Hudson, while in a work environment where quitting time each day is probably a guess at best.
It is no wonder if you feel tired, or crabby, or bitchy , or overwhelmed... it's normal. You are carrying the entire load for your family of five right now, and I'm sure you are doing a great job. And as others have said, it's just for a few weeks more, and at the end of those weeks you get your new babies.
Good thoughts and prayers to you and yours.
...oh, and much compassion and love to R. She is working hard as well, trying to keep your new babies safe. You are a hero for all the everyday things you do, she is a hero for all the every day things she doesn't do.
Your babies are waiting to be held by you both, and trusting both their moms to take care of them. Clearly you are. xo
You have to put things into perspective... What about the last weeks you were pregnant? Did R take part of your load off you then?
Also, remember, just try to take it one day at a time.
And I sooo totally go for the idea to get someone to help you if you can. I'm lucky, here in Mexico I have someone come clean my whole house for 10 dlls a day. I know it's a lot more expensive out there, but maybe you could handle it for a few times.
Do you have a support base over there? Like friends who can help you out with a little cooking or who can do a load of laundry or something. Over here, all of us at work (we've had 4 births so far) take turns to go to the expecting mother's house once she's on maternity leave before the birth and help her out with a few chores every couple of days. It's really a very nice system.
They're just a couple of ideas though.
That is an exhausting day you have there, every day, and with little sleep! I'm glad you'll let some steam off here if you need to and hopefully the domperidone will work a bit. And we don't have to fix everything to just lend an ear for sympathy.
You are wearing so many hats - breastfeeding mom, working woman, partner to your pregnant R, mom to little Hudson, homeowner, dog lover, bill payer. Wow. Is there any part of that you feel could be sourced out somehow? Cleaning is an awesome one and one that gives you time back, and a sense of peace with the clean house. Or maybe you can order most of your groceries online and just go pick them up?
I don't know - if I lived anywhere near you I'd totally bring you food and see what else needed doing. Sorry we're not all there in person to take a load off! Can you get in the hot tub with R one day to just connect for a minute?
The babies will be here soon, and you're right that it'll change some things *and* make you tired again. Good luck to you both, and keep posting if you want to vent!
How is the domperidone working? Are you ready to help R feed the twins?
My thoughts are with you.
Your family is gorgeous, babe. I'm so happy for you, even if things have been rough for you lately.
Hey, I KNOW you're super busy right now, but when you get a second, could you let me know how the domperidone is working out?? I am thinking about ordering some, if you think it is effective. Thanks!
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