What a difference a year makes

As is customary this time of year, it is time for a reflection blog. The beauty of blogging is that I can go back both to my own blog and to R's blog and see exactly where we were at this time last year. Last year in December we did our second IVF in which we transferred 2 perfect grade blasts into me and 1 into R. For me it was a beta of zero. I was devastated. I thought I would never get the chance to be pregnant. After all, we had put perfect quality blasts in me and nada, not to mention the 2 previous miscarriages I had experienced. R was pregnant and while I was quite happy for her and for what that meant for us, I couldn't really show her that because I was wallowing in self pitty. I was more sad for me than I was happy for us.

Unfortunately (or would it actually be fortunately), that pregnancy didn't produce a baby for R. Despite her perfect betas and the fact that I was convinced that it was my fucked up body that wouldn't produce a baby but that her body would, R had a blighted ovum and underwent a D&C last January. What a start to the year. When R's pregnancy ended, I decided to go back to trying with my own eggs. I did an injectable IUI cycle in February. I had 6 mature follies and possibly a few others that were a bit smaller. I decided to take the risk. Surely squirting a little sperm in me wouldn't work, not after 2 failed IVFs (with R's eggs). Holy shit was I surprised when I pee sticks turned positive only 9 days post IUI. Actually I was down right scared that I had a small litter in there. Luckily it was only 1 and this time, the baby actually lived. Each ultrasound I expected bad news. In my head, I had already composed my dead baby blog post but luckily that never happened and at 37w3d the boy was born.

In the interim R tried an FET which resulted in another early miscarriage and then she went for it and did IVF #3 also known as the super cycle. She produced 47 eggs! That's more than IVF 1 and 2 combined. And this time it worked - almost too well. So in the year that started out with R being pregnant and me wallowing in self pity about not being pregnant, it ends with me having had a baby and 2 miscarriages later R being pregnant with twins. That's how I will remember 2007.

It's amazing how when trying to conceive it encompasses every aspect of your life. It's hard for me to remember anything else about this year that's not trying to conceive or pregnancy related. Yet there were other events - big ones. My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer and underwent a mastectomy followed by chemo. She will no doubt remember this year as her cancer year, the year she lost her hair and her energy. However she's now starting 2008 with a new boob, some gray peach fuzz hair and a clean bill of health as of her December PET scan. My brother will remember 2007 as the year he graduated high school and joined the Navy. My sister in law will remember it as the year she got married.

So now for 2008 - I'm looking forward to chaos that will likely be this year. I feel that I am in the calm before the storm right now. The boy (Hudson) is easy. He's a good baby who only fusses when he needs something. At 8 weeks old he only wakes up once per night and he's been doing that for 2 weeks now. Right now life is good. However, soon things will change, not necessarily in a bad way but there will be change - I can't wait!