My wonderful 9 weeks of taking care of my son's every need has come to an end. On Monday I came back to work. I had mixed feelings about coming back to work. On one hand, I love my job and missed seeing patients. On the other hand, I loved taking care of my boy and knew I would miss him terribly. If I could only strap him into my Mo.by wrap and see patients with him attached...that would be perfect! Ahh, if only I was part of some native South American tribe, then that would be perfectly acceptable. I could see patients in my mountain clinic with my boy on my back - hmm, I guess if I were part of such tribe, I probably wouldn't be a doctor and generally there is no tribe clinic - more like a tribe elder who uses rain forest medicines...but I digress.
It's funny, I always thought that I would get so bored on maternity leave. I'm not the type of person who is at ease just sitting around doing nothing. In residency when my vacations didn't coincide with R's I would go crazy just being at home and not working. I was actually known to go in to the hospital and attend conferences on my vacation if I was in town (and yes, I was made fun of for this). So I thought maternity leave was going to be torturous for me. Surprisingly, I really enjoyed it. I loved taking care of my son. I knew that it would be the only time in my life that I would be the primary caretaker for my child and so I embraced it. Maybe if I knew that I wouldn't return to work and that taking care of my kids would be my new full time job, I would have felt differently (perhaps then I wouldn't have enjoyed it as much). Unlike all the new stay-at-home moms from my infertility support group, I didn't count the hours until I could hand my kid off to someone else and escape. But again, that's probably because I knew my time with Hudson was coming to an end.
R was awesome, she totally let me do the majority of the parenting since she too realized that my time at home was limited. However the fact that she was more hands off led to a minor panic moment when she realized she'd be home alone with him all day - crap, when does he eat and how much???
Monday wasn't bad - Hudson had his 2 month well visit so he came to my work. I was able to breast feed him mid morning and then we went out for lunch. Tuesday was the true test - the longest I've ever been away from him and I survived. Surprisingly I didn't even cry. I guess it helps that I love my job and that I know he's in good hands. He's with his other mom so it's not like I'm leaving him with some stranger. I also get to talk about him all day long as all my patients are asking about him. Sure I can't wait to get home at the end of the day - in fact I bolt out of here and do my charting at home with the boy attached to the boob. In the mean time, I am looking forward to the 6 weeks of leave I'll take when the twins are born!
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11 comments:
Glad that your first couple days are doing good...
Wow, (paragraph 1) "sitting around and doing nothing?"
Yikes - can't think of any type of mothers who fit that description.
I feel your pain. I'm due back on Monday and am so dreading it words can't explain.
It does help that my mom is looking after my boy and not some stranger, but in reality it should be me.
How awesome that you get to take another 6 weeks of in May.
"A" is looking at going into a partnership and thereby making more money. I'm working on getting her to agree to me at least working half day but preferably not at all.
Hang in there. I'm told it gets easier - yeah right!!!!
Glad the transition back to work has been good. It's great that he's with his other mom so you don't have to worry about him. :)
HOW GREAT that you can take another 6 weeks off when Huds brother and sister come.
You are very lucky and I think you have a great attitude.
It's amazing how one can sit and stare at a baby kicking and moving and gurgling for HOURS and never get bored :)
Wow...how full of yourself ou sound!! Like you're too good and need so much stimulation that staying at home "doing nothing" would be torture.
As a pediatrician I'd think you'd know that kids are incredibly fulfilling and creative and entertaining and challenging.
I can't stand when working mom's say they could never stay home with their kids becuase they'd get bored and feel like their talents are wasted. Do you know how pompous that sounds? And really...it devalues your children by implying they aren't enough for you.
Its one thing to want to work, or need to work...but don't blame it on boredom or some higher calling...because children are not boring...nor is there a calling higher than parenthood.
You child is lucky he gets to spend the day without you and your negative attitude. Your pathetic.
-Michelle
Ouch - first time I've really been ripped a new one and by someone who posts anonymously so I can't go read her blog. Michelle, you obviously missed the entire point of my blog entry, about how much I enjoyed staying home with my son and taking care of his every need. The part of how I wish I could take him to work with me. And as for sitting around doing nothing, that referred to previous experiences on vacation (pre-having a child). I know that newborns don't do much so I thought the beginning would be somewhat boring (it's not like I was home with a 2 year old who is interactive or even a 6 month old) but instead, I loved it! Next time try reading the entire post and not just a few lines before you decide to just go off.
You go girl!!!!!! Show them what you're made of.
PS See my email and knock 'em dead!
Yes, Anonymous was harsh, but I can see how you might have offended her. As I said in previous post, not many mothers "sit around doing nothing". You're happiness with your son is obvious. Hope things are going well for all of you.P.S. I don't have a blog. Just a reader.
We as mothers should be so so so tired of the 'working mom vs. sahm' debate. I for one am very tired of it. We all do a lot, ok? And I'll tell you, I stay at home with three kids, and you know what? It gets boring. Granted, there is always someone whining at you and someone that you need to do something for, but it still gets boring. Yeah, kids are fun and silly and they say insightful things, but mostly, they whine and ask for shit. And newborns? They don't do anything, if you're lucky! If they are doing something, it's crying. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids dearly. I'm just more realistic and honest about what it's like to stay at home. Sometimes...I even sit around and do...NOTHING! oh my god. I'm not betty crocker, I'm not donna reed (spelling?) I'm a regular mom who isn't always engaging my kids or cooking or cleaning. I do all that granted, but not every second of everday.
So maybe, just maybe, we can cut each other a break and just keep our nasty comments to ourselves?!
We need to have confidence in ourselves as mothers so we don't feel the need to hurt other mothers feelings.
Well said Cristin!
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