Today is 6dp6dt for R's FET. I've been really hopeful the entire time that it would work. R's had her doubts and honestly, I think she's been talking herself out of it. It makes sense, she's been through so many disappointments that I'm sure she's just trying to shield herself. She's mentioned the pluses to not being pregnant - of course there's the craziness of both of us being pregnant at the same time, but she's also brought up how not being pregnant means she'll get to enjoy the summer - mostly being able to drink wine with my dad (a chef and wine connoisseur), being to have a drink at her sister's wedding, being able to go camping this summer (she can lug all the heavy stuff - it's just car camping so it's not like I'd have to hike and we definitely have all the gear to camp in luxury).

However today everything changed. R woke up around 5am to pee (gotta love PIO) and she POAS. It was a FRER which we hold to the highest standards. We're pretty sure it was negative. I mean at 5am your eyes definitely play tricks on you and since my brain knows where the line should be (and I want it to be there so badly), I think my brain just fills it in. My brain also kind of fucks with me because it doesn't fill it in all the way, instead I imagine a very faint line. After turning on the lights, putting my glasses on and re-examining the test, we concluded that it was definitely negative. Despite R's big summer plans, I know she was disappointed.

I left for work about 8:15 and R decided to test again. This time with one of the tests I brought home from work. Of course without me home to look at it, she got a faint line. Holy crap. What does this mean? A negative FRER and a positive test from work (which I consider to be a crappier test - it's not meant to pick super early pregnancies, just knocked up teenagers who don't even know they are pregnant until they're having regular stomach pains every few minutes and then a head pops out from between their legs). I made her take pictures of the test and e-mail me at work. Although faint, there definitely was a line there. I swear I've been agonizing over it all day. I just want this to work. In my new state of pregnancy, I've become more protective of R and can't stand to see her go through another negative or worse yet another false start pregnancy.

Now the wait until tomorrow morning for R to POAS again. Is it morning yet? The damn beta is still 2 days away.