Today is 7dpIUI - that means 7 days of total obsession. The obsession that started mere hours after the IUI with the microscopic inspection of my girly fluids has grown into full psychosomatization of all sort of pregnancy symptoms.

It started on 5dpIUI with cramping which lasted almost all day. We all know that this is too early for implantation. The most likely explanation is constipation but in my head, it was my baby(ies). Today I have been nauseous all day. Once again, total crap...how the fuck can I be nauseous on 7dpIUI. Really, I did a shot of HCG 9 days ago, I haven't been nauseous yet. I have been testing each morning and today was the first morning that my test turned negative. I was using the tests from work which pick up at levels of 30. Thus my HCG level is less than 30 so why the fuck would I be nauseous now and not with levels of say 10,000????

This isn't the first time my mind has played tricks on me. With one of my negative IUI cycles, I gagged every time I brushed my teeth. My mother-in-law said that puking while brushing her teeth was the first sign that she was pregnant. For that cycle, my period was several days away. Tonight I also gagged while brushing my teeth and while taking my prenatal vitamin. Once again, WTF???

If only I was more like the patient I saw last week. A 17 year old girl who came to see me for a sports physical so that she could play a spring sport during her senior year. As part of any adolescent physical we of course discussed sex - she'd tried it twice several months ago "always with a condom". We also discussed her periods - very regular every month with a last menstrual period 1 1/2 weeks before. Then I examined her - when she laid down, there it was. Her bump. The kind of bump where if she was Angelina Jolie or Katie Holmes or Britney Spears she would make cover of People magazine and all the other not as reputable celebrity mags. Hmmm... could it be some sort of abdominal mass (the week before I felt one on a 1 year old kid who turned out to have cancer)? I felt the mass - it was firm up to the level of the belly button. I had her go pee into a cup - the positive line came up before the control line. I had to break the news. Of course she wanted an abortion but I think it's too late. She had no one to talk to so I took into my office and called our ob/gyn doctor on call. They got her in for an u/s the next morning and she's 20 weeks. (I'm not sure if she was able to have an abortion since she was so far along). Obviously very different circumstances but I wish I could wake up and be 20 weeks along.