Black and blue and lumpy all over

Tick, tock, tick tock - time seems to stand still during the dreaded 2 week wait. I feel like the IUI was weeks ago but here I am on day 4 post IUI. I feel nothing. Duh, of course I don't feel a thing - I shouldn't feel anything. From our IVF knowledge, I know that if the egg and sperm managed to find each other and the egg let the sperm in (a much more unlikely process than fertilization via ICSI), that at this point I would not even have a blast yet, much less anything implanting and thus nothing to feel. There is the potential that I have a dividing clump of cells floating down my tubes and into my uterus and that in a few more days it will implant. I will keep hoping for this but by not feeling anything now, it's hard to keep hope alive.

I think I had previously mentioned that the testing that I had done after our last IVF failed, showed that I have a clotting problem (elevated PAI-1 activity - other than a clotting problem, please don't ask what it is b/c it's so complicated that I barely understand it. I have put my best friend from med school who is currently a hematology fellow on the case and am expecting a full report in the next week). My RE had given me the option of baby aspirin which I have already been doing for the past 2 cycles or to move on to heparin. I chose heparin. He mentioned that I would start it at the time of insemination. So on the day of our IUI, I asked him about the heparin prescription. He gave me the prescription but said not to take it until I had a positive pregnancy test. He then gave me a slip for a beta and told me to get a beta in 1 week - as in 7dpIUI. If the beta is more than 5, he said to start the heparin.

While at first I was thrilled that my 2ww would be cut in half, then it hit me. Implantation may not have even taken place by 7dpIUI - so why would I go have a beta done??? I hate seeing those betas of zero. Or worse yet, what if my trigger was still in my system? Then I would get all excited for nothing. Then of course I also wondered if my clotting problem would interfere with implantation. While I have gotten pregnant before and also had a chemical pregnancy and thus I know that those embryos can implant, I didn't have the knowledge of this clotting problem to worry about. So I consulted with my favorite RE, Dr. Google and found plenty of women who take heparin starting at IUI to aid with implantation. Thus I too have started on my heparin. And I have started peeing on a stick (well more like into a cup and then using a dropper to place my urine into the little well on the test) each morning to pin point when my trigger shot is out of my system. So far the test still thinks I'm pregnant.

Getting back to my heparin. I have done a total of 4 shots so far. I already look like R gave me a sound beating. I'm not sure how I will be able to stay on this until November 21st. (Yes, my neurosis also including using a pregnancy calculator immediately after the IUI to figure out my due date). With my 4 shots thus far, I've almost run out of non-bruised tummy fat area. It also leaves a firm nodule under the skin which has given my tummy an unnatural lumpy appearance (not the usual smooth rolling hills of my tummy fat). I will soon be starting on my thighs so that they too have a bruised and lumpy appearance. What's black and blue and lumpy all over? Me!!! And hopefully I will have one big lump in the center of my belly that gets bigger for 9 months! Then I won't bitch too much about anything else.

As for my early test, I will probably go for that beta a few days after my morning pregnancy tests turn negative. I'll keep you all posted.