Today at lunch, I did the deed. Of course for me the deed consists of a speculum, a syringe with some sperm being put through my cervix into my uterus and then laying there for 20 minutes - just like straight sex, right?
Afterwards, I went back to work. This just doesn't seem right. No egg count, no fertilization report and no bed rest. Not to mention that I only did 1 shot per day. This entire cycle I have felt like I am forgetting something. When we did IVF, between R and I we were injecting 4-5 different drugs per day. There was discomfort, there was pain, there was bloating so severe that R looked 4 months pregnant - for the love of god, there was something tangible. But with this cycle there was nothing. I mean there was some cramping during the stimming phase but I haven't felt a thing since I triggered Monday night. It also just seems too simple. What -- you squirt some sperm in me and I'm supposed to get pregnant?!?!? I know that most people get pregnant this way. Hell... I even got pregnant this way. But once you venture into IVF-land, it's hard to go back. I miss knowing that embryos are being put into my uterus and not just that we're hoping that the sperm and eggs will mix together.
My paranoia continued through my afternoon at work. Being a physician, I have the knowledge and access to equipment that allows me to take my paranoia to a whole new level. (I can't believe I'm really about to admit this even with this being an semi-anonymous blog. There are only 2 people that I know in real life that read this even though they're not "supposed to" - *wink* hi K&H). So this afternoon, I kept feeling all drippy. And of course my paranoia took over. I know that the sperm can't drip out because it's put through into my uterus, but in my mind, it was possible. (OK - this is the embarrassing part). So I went into the bathroom and took a swab of my girly parts, put it on a slide and looked at it under the microscope. No swimmers - dead or alive!!! Just normal stuff, but no swimmers. I feel much better now about my girl parts and keeping the swimmers where they should be - way inside. Now the wait...
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10 comments:
See, now I envy you your job. I'd LOVE to be able to swab myself and examine it and see what's going on. Seriously. I have the envy here.
My ob admited that she used to scan herself all the time when she was pregnant! So i think ou are safe to put something under a microscope!
yes, peopel get pregnant with IUI ALL THE TIME! A little history: I did 8 IUIs. 4 were w/ my ob, who didn't even monitor follicle growth. Just triggered and blindly sent the sperm on its merry way. We cdon't count those. HOWEVER, I did 4 more IUIs and I got pregnant TWICE. So 50 percent of the time. Once with twins. By comparison, I did IVF 3 times and got pregnant once. So I am a huge beleiver in the low-tech less invasive IUI. Justkeep thinking this will work, this will work, this will work...
I hope these weeks fly for you! Mid march, right? That's not too far away! : ) OK, it is, but maybe you will be able to distract yurselves wth a FET protocol in a few days.
It's so nice to know that even physicians get as paranoid as girls like me who haven't taken a science class since the Reagan administration. Good luck to you!
love it! thanks for the candor. fingers crossed for your tww!
i thought you were going to admit something WAY worse than looking at some fluids under a microscope. i would totally do that...it doesn't even sound weird.
Too funny about the about the microscope. If I had access, I would do the same! I get so psychotic that everything will "fall out".
I just had to post.. I read your blog and I love it. I am just getting ready to venture to IVF land but these past IUI attempts.. I ALWAYS get my mind thinking that the swim team was leaking out.. If I would of had the ability to use a microscope and check.. I probably would of! CLASSIC!!!!
Bwahahahaha!
I totally want a microscope now. Can you see spermies on a $20 Toys'r'Us microscope, or do you need something with a little more power than that?
Honestly, that made me feel a lot better about my own paranoia. Thank you.
So can I just send samples to you now and you can check them under the microscope?
aww I got my initals in your blog, that is cool
H
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