Top 10 List

Top 10 list as to why this IVF is going to work:

10. Because I have not had highlights since the week before IVF #1. This means that I have roots which will only get worse since I'll be too paranoid to get highlights until the second trimester. I will therefore look like white trash and thereby guaranteeing that I will be pregnant. Nothing completes the WT look like a pregnant belly and roots.

9. Because I've been having some cramping and I don't just think it's my mind playing tricks on me. Earlier yesterday, I think it might have been some wishful cramps but last night, those were definitely real.

8. Because we have every fertility idol known to man. We bought some African Ashanti dolls after our first IVF failed. We were then given another one by one of R's professors. This particular doll only has one arm but it has worked in the past and even produced children with 2 arms. My cousin also sent me some frog earings - they are fertility symbols from the pre-colombian era indians. Another friend of ours gave us a kokopeli after she just became pregnant, not to mention the fact that our house has kokopelis on the bathroom tile. Finally, we also have a knitted uterus that my sister-in-law made and rubbed all over her pregnant belly.

7. Because we have been sticking needles in us for the past 4 months. I'm not referring to any of the IVF meds but rather to acupuncture. We have strengthened my weak kidney and spleen and fixed R's stagnant blood and cold uterus with weekly needling sessions. As a western physician, I found most of it a bit hard to swallow but I did it, so now it has to work!

6. Because I have brainwashed myself into thinking that it's going to work. For months now I have made myself believe that it will work. Every time that I have thought about IVF, I have forced myself to think that it will work. I have done such a good job doing this that I truly believe that it will work.

5. Because we just got the news that they were able to freeze 7 blasts. That's more frozen than we had fertilize the first time around. We are absolutely thrilled. That means 10 made it to blast - 3 that got put back in us and 7 that were put on ice.

4. Because I have had both my miscarriage and R's miscarriage. That's it, we're done with those, got them out of the way and now it's time for this to finally work.

3. Because we did assisted hatching on our embryos.

2. Because R and I haven't killed each other yet. We've been on bcp's together, then we went through menopause together on lupron and survived the hot flashes and night sweats. We're now both on estrogen and progesterone and survived 2 1/2 days of bed rest together. Not only are we still married but we actually still like each other.

1. The number one reason why I think this IVF will work is because we're 2 crazy gay girls who put embryos into both of us . We're destined to become lesbian urban legends - "did you hear about that lesbian couple that put embryos into both of them, each embryo split into 4 other embryos and they had like 12 kids". Deciding to put embryos into both of us was our way of increasing our odds as much as possible. It's not that we want a huge family but rather that we just want a family. After loosing at every TTC odds game that we've played, we figured that there was no way we'd both get pregnant. Now, I think those are famous last words and I'm convinced we will end up with triplets.