By now you've probably noticed the ticker. Some of you may remember my rant several months ago about those women who put up tickers even before they've missed a period. Well I have decided to be one of "those" women. I am going to pretend that nothing can go wrong, that we (or more specifically I) have already had all the bad stuff happen and I am going to assume that this baby will live.

Our second betas were yesterday. Mine was 0 again - big shock there. R's had appropriately doubled to 196 from 97. The lab forgot to check R's progesterone despite it being ordered, so our RE wants her to have another blood test on Friday. R convinced them to add another beta since they were already going to be taking blood. The more the better, right? Our first ultrasound will be on January 11th. Until then R doesn't really believe that she is pregnant. She can't seem to remember to take her estrogen. She's also going nuts since she's the one that usually does everything around the house (I work and she goes to school and does most of the house work). So now, she not only gets to be pregnant with my baby but I also get to do the house chores - lots of fun. I keep joking that I will be living with my very own "evil shadow pregnancy" (borrowing that term from another blogger). I guess it's not really evil shadow pregnancy since the baby will also be mine but that's just one minor little detail.

I've spoken to my IVF nurse. She seems to think that maybe I have immune issues since I have now had 1 fetus and 5 embryos die in my uterus. She's going to confer with our RE about further testing for me. Even though I am leaning towards waiting until after this baby is born to try again, I want to have all the testing now. That way, if there is something that can be corrected, then we have plenty of time to fix it.

I do however have my own theory as to why it didn't work. It mainly has to do with these being R's embryos. First let me tell you a little bit about R. R does not like to be told to do something - much like a toddler, she rebels against it. A perfect example would be R in aerobics class. I finally get her to go with me (this was several years ago), she mostly agrees because I keep raving about how hot the aerobics instructor is. So we're about 15 minutes into the class and the very hot aerobics instructor is giving a few words of encouragement -not in an annoying way, just the usual, "you can do it" "common just 5 more" "don't give up". Well that's just too much for R - she's all, "screw this" and leaves the class. It actually made her angry that the instructor was telling her (or actually telling the entire class) to do something. So now I'm figuring that her embryos kept hearing me say "common, implant, go ahead and snuggle in tightly for the next 9 months" and they did much like R would do. They said, fuck this, she wants us to stick around well we'll show her and they decided not to stick. The one embryo in R probably heard her saying, "I don't think I want you to stick" and thus it went ahead and stuck. Damn R genes.