8dp5dt

Another stick wasted this morning with another negative. R's continue to get darker. I'm actually doing OK this morning. No major meltdown like yesterday.

R and I had a great night last night. She made dinner and had a fire going when I got home from work. We sat on a blanket by the fireplace had dinner and talked for a few hours. She really is an amazing and supportive wife. When I said yesterday that I felt like I couldn't talk to R, it wasn't because of her, it was because I didn't want to share all my own baggage at a time when I should be the happy and supportive of her pregnancy. However, R is being great and allowing me to mourn for my fucked up and uncooperative girl parts and it isn't taking away from her girl parts that are finally doing what they are supposed to do. We are a great team and will get through this together.

Our betas are tomorrow and although the clinic won't call us with our results, I can look them up. One of the benefits of being a physician. I can't imagine having to wait until Tuesday for beta #2 to get the results. Short of a Christmas miracle, I know mine will be negative. Part of me is hoping that R's embryo split and that she's having identical twins. I know they are higher risk but identicals are cool! We were just so prepared for multiples (with each of us being pregnant), that having one will be a bit disappointing at first. Aren't I fucking greedy?

A brief note to those who comment on here: Thank you! You girls rock! I just love your realism. There's no sugar coating it. No stories of not getting a "positive until 54dpo despite being pregnant with quintuplets". You girls tell it like it is and I love you all for it.