I have sucked more than usual at posting. I have been reading lots of blogs - I usually sit at the computer while breast feeding, so I only have 1 hand to click on my goggle reader but not 2 hands to actually blog or comment. Right now my in-laws are here and I finally have a free hand. Things are going well. Hudson finally has gotten the hang of breast feeding and it's going much better. He's also had 6 good nights in a row!!! That's putting him down to sleep at 10pm and he wakes up once at 4am and then sleeps until 7am. It's amazing how refreshed I am with only 1 night time waking.
He's also smiling now which just absolutely melts my heart. Life is good!
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Monday, December 03, 2007
Exhausted but here
I've sucked at blogging more than usual lately. I'm here - exhausted most of the time but here. I have all sorts of intentions about blogging everyday but I just don't seem to make it onto the computer to blog. I think of all sorts of things to blog about - in my head I've composed multiple blogs over the past few weeks, they just don't ever really make it out of my head.
Hudson is 4 weeks old. I still can't believe he's here and he's ours. Although I'm quite tired, I'm loving every minute of it (well not every minute - I'm sure those 20 minutes on each boob at 3 in he morning aren't my favorite but you get the jest). Speaking of the boob - breastfeeding has got to be one of the most difficult things I've ever done. I completely understand why women give up. If I didn't have such strong convictions about breastfeeding, I too would have given up. There have been times when paying 20 something dollars per can of formula seems like a small price to pay. Leave it to the pediatrician's child to lose too much weight (he went down as far as 11% ) and not regain his birth weight until 3 weeks of life (instead of the preferred 10-14 days). Luckily breastfeeding is now going much better. They are even coming tomorrow to take away my hospital grade pump (my insurance covered it for a month). Surely that's a sign that things are going better now.
For those of you who think being a pediatrician somehow makes you immune to worrying about your child's health, I beg to differ. In fact my worrying about the baby's health is taken to a whole different level. Instead of worrying about my son sounding like he has nasal congestion or about dry skin (both things for which I see newborns of first time mom's quite often), I worry about horrible genetic diseases. I'm talking about diseases in which the child appears normal at birth and then the disease is noted at several months of life and the child dies by a year of age. I've had patients with this - although it's very rare, I've had 2 patients with this. I'm not going to mention the specific disease that I'm worried about so that someone out there in blog land doesn't google it and then also becomes a paranoid freak (also I'm not mentioning any more specifics because I don't want to freak R out). Granted there are no signs that our boy has this disease or any other disease for that matter - these are just random things that I worry about. Last week it was his vision, I was convinced that he was blind. I no longer think he's blind.
I do think that all this random worrying is tied into infertility. I'm sure the crack whore who gets knocked up easily and never worries about a miscarriage or a premature baby and who goes on to have a healthy baby never worries about any of this. But after trying so hard for over 3 years and after our combined 4 losses, I'm just still afraid that the fertility gods who finally smiled upon us will say "just kidding" and take him away. You know, just in the same way as we would get a hand full of positive pregnancy tests and then "psych, just kidding" you're not really pregnant, well not in the pregnant and it's going to lead to a baby kind of a way. Infertility fucked with my pregnancy - I was always worried that he would die in utero and now it's still fucking with me and he's in my arms. Shit, when did I become so neurotic. Interestingly, I don't feel that way about the babies inside of R. I don't worry about her miscarrying (even though she has in the past). I just feel that everything will be alright with those babies.
Hudson is 4 weeks old. I still can't believe he's here and he's ours. Although I'm quite tired, I'm loving every minute of it (well not every minute - I'm sure those 20 minutes on each boob at 3 in he morning aren't my favorite but you get the jest). Speaking of the boob - breastfeeding has got to be one of the most difficult things I've ever done. I completely understand why women give up. If I didn't have such strong convictions about breastfeeding, I too would have given up. There have been times when paying 20 something dollars per can of formula seems like a small price to pay. Leave it to the pediatrician's child to lose too much weight (he went down as far as 11% ) and not regain his birth weight until 3 weeks of life (instead of the preferred 10-14 days). Luckily breastfeeding is now going much better. They are even coming tomorrow to take away my hospital grade pump (my insurance covered it for a month). Surely that's a sign that things are going better now.
For those of you who think being a pediatrician somehow makes you immune to worrying about your child's health, I beg to differ. In fact my worrying about the baby's health is taken to a whole different level. Instead of worrying about my son sounding like he has nasal congestion or about dry skin (both things for which I see newborns of first time mom's quite often), I worry about horrible genetic diseases. I'm talking about diseases in which the child appears normal at birth and then the disease is noted at several months of life and the child dies by a year of age. I've had patients with this - although it's very rare, I've had 2 patients with this. I'm not going to mention the specific disease that I'm worried about so that someone out there in blog land doesn't google it and then also becomes a paranoid freak (also I'm not mentioning any more specifics because I don't want to freak R out). Granted there are no signs that our boy has this disease or any other disease for that matter - these are just random things that I worry about. Last week it was his vision, I was convinced that he was blind. I no longer think he's blind.
I do think that all this random worrying is tied into infertility. I'm sure the crack whore who gets knocked up easily and never worries about a miscarriage or a premature baby and who goes on to have a healthy baby never worries about any of this. But after trying so hard for over 3 years and after our combined 4 losses, I'm just still afraid that the fertility gods who finally smiled upon us will say "just kidding" and take him away. You know, just in the same way as we would get a hand full of positive pregnancy tests and then "psych, just kidding" you're not really pregnant, well not in the pregnant and it's going to lead to a baby kind of a way. Infertility fucked with my pregnancy - I was always worried that he would die in utero and now it's still fucking with me and he's in my arms. Shit, when did I become so neurotic. Interestingly, I don't feel that way about the babies inside of R. I don't worry about her miscarrying (even though she has in the past). I just feel that everything will be alright with those babies.
Monday, November 12, 2007
week one in review
Today marks one week since coming home from the hospital. I had always heard that recovery from a c-section was tough but for me it's been really easy. I really haven't had any pain and other than taking ibuprofen once a day, I haven't taken any other pain meds. I'm grateful that my recovery has been so easy. While R is feeling better, she's in no position to take care of me and the baby full time while continuing her school work and growing our 2 other children (that last part is the most important). I'm doing well enough to take care of myself and the baby (with some help from R of course so that I can sleep) and do some light housework like dishes.
I've only been a parent for 8 days now and already I know that I'll be a much better pediatrician. I have all sorts of new empathy for my patient's parents. Like who the hell books newborn appointments for 8:50am. Our first doctor's appointment was at 1:30 pm and we barely made it - I can't imagine having that first appointment first thing in the morning. The first outing is a big deal - like why didn't I think of preparing the diaper bag more than 5 minutes before we had to walk out of the door and oh yeah, a blanket would be a good idea in the fall weather. There were so many little things i didn't think of until we had to leave.
The theme of this first week has been breastfeeding. Mr. Hudson is perfect in every way except for the fact that his suck, well it sucks. He's unable to effectively transfer milk from my breast to his mouth. He does a few good sucks and then just sits there with a mouth full of boob. The first few days I would spend the entire feed trying to piss him off to stay awake and attempt to feed. Feeding sessions took forever (at least an hour) and when we went to his first doctor's appointment he was 9% down. Yes, all babies lose weight but we worry when it's 8-10% down. So I upped my feeding efforts which were already pretty exhaustive. I woke him up to feed every 2 hours - that's 2 hours from start of feed to the start of the next feed, which means that there was very little down time in between feeds. I was certain he would have gained weight only to return to the doctor's office and find out he was now down 11%.
The next 24 hours proved to be quite stressful as I was feeding Hudson at the breast every 2 hours, then using the SNS to supplement with formula and then pumping. The next day I even fed him in my office before the appointment to plump him up. Luckily he had gained some weight but there's no way I could have continued those efforts. The nurse practitioner we saw also happened to be a lactation consultant and had a different strategy than what every other lactation consultant that I have ever worked with. Sensing my stress associated with feeds - she gave me permission to use bottles. I was very concerned about nipple confusion but she doesn't believe in it. I still have to put him to the breast often - even if it's not to feed but rather to hang out and have "breast time". The hope is that in a week or so he'll perk up and take to the breast. This new strategy has made a world of difference! My stress level is so much less and he's feeding so well. He does take the bottle but he's also taking the breast much better. This is another way in which I will be a better pediatrician - I have always known that breast feeding is hard. That although it's the "natural thing", it's something that both mom and baby have to learn. But OMG, it's so much harder than I thought it would be and while a baby losing weight is such a normal thing for me as a pediatrician but now I realize how stressful it is for the parent, especially to come back in day after day for weight checks. I'll still bring them back in for weight checks but I'll be nicer about it - LOL.
I've only been a parent for 8 days now and already I know that I'll be a much better pediatrician. I have all sorts of new empathy for my patient's parents. Like who the hell books newborn appointments for 8:50am. Our first doctor's appointment was at 1:30 pm and we barely made it - I can't imagine having that first appointment first thing in the morning. The first outing is a big deal - like why didn't I think of preparing the diaper bag more than 5 minutes before we had to walk out of the door and oh yeah, a blanket would be a good idea in the fall weather. There were so many little things i didn't think of until we had to leave.
The theme of this first week has been breastfeeding. Mr. Hudson is perfect in every way except for the fact that his suck, well it sucks. He's unable to effectively transfer milk from my breast to his mouth. He does a few good sucks and then just sits there with a mouth full of boob. The first few days I would spend the entire feed trying to piss him off to stay awake and attempt to feed. Feeding sessions took forever (at least an hour) and when we went to his first doctor's appointment he was 9% down. Yes, all babies lose weight but we worry when it's 8-10% down. So I upped my feeding efforts which were already pretty exhaustive. I woke him up to feed every 2 hours - that's 2 hours from start of feed to the start of the next feed, which means that there was very little down time in between feeds. I was certain he would have gained weight only to return to the doctor's office and find out he was now down 11%.
The next 24 hours proved to be quite stressful as I was feeding Hudson at the breast every 2 hours, then using the SNS to supplement with formula and then pumping. The next day I even fed him in my office before the appointment to plump him up. Luckily he had gained some weight but there's no way I could have continued those efforts. The nurse practitioner we saw also happened to be a lactation consultant and had a different strategy than what every other lactation consultant that I have ever worked with. Sensing my stress associated with feeds - she gave me permission to use bottles. I was very concerned about nipple confusion but she doesn't believe in it. I still have to put him to the breast often - even if it's not to feed but rather to hang out and have "breast time". The hope is that in a week or so he'll perk up and take to the breast. This new strategy has made a world of difference! My stress level is so much less and he's feeding so well. He does take the bottle but he's also taking the breast much better. This is another way in which I will be a better pediatrician - I have always known that breast feeding is hard. That although it's the "natural thing", it's something that both mom and baby have to learn. But OMG, it's so much harder than I thought it would be and while a baby losing weight is such a normal thing for me as a pediatrician but now I realize how stressful it is for the parent, especially to come back in day after day for weight checks. I'll still bring them back in for weight checks but I'll be nicer about it - LOL.
Thursday, November 08, 2007
Birth Story
By this point I think most people have read R's blog and have figured out that our son was born. Hudson was born on Saturday November 3rd at 7:21pm. Despite being a few weeks early (37w3d) he was a healthy 8lbs 2.8oz and 20 inches long. Although again, I think most people know that he was born via c-section, I thought I would give my point of view on how the day went for me.
Contractions were nothing new for me. I had been contracting regularly for 7 weeks. The contractions were usually every 5-8 minutes unless I exerted myself with strenuous activity such as walking to my car from my office and then I would contract every 3-4 minutes. The contractions were never painful, just more of a nuisance. My belly would get quite hard and my heart rate would speed up a bit. I had monitoring twice per week which in addition to documenting my contractions would also check the baby out. He always tolerated the contractions quite well so we really weren't too worried.
On Friday morning I went in for my usual antepartum monitoring. Despite not having exerted myself, I was contracting every 2-3 minutes on the monitor. As always the antepartum nurse was at a loss for what to do with me. I worked all morning and then had an OB appointment during my lunch hour. My cervix was still totally closed by the OB thought I might be starting to thin out (she guesstimated I was 50% effaced). However I had contracted for 7 weeks without any changes to my cervix so this slight change was nothing to worry about.
That night R and I decided to have a date night, not knowing how many more nights we would have just the 2 of us. We headed to our favorite sushi restaurant were we ordered cooked stuff - not very exciting but it was our date. That evening I started having some mild cramping. My contractions were so close together that it was hard to say whether the cramps were all the time or just when I was contracting. At this point they were mild so I pretty much just ignored them. Overnight the cramps got a little worse and included low back pain. I always get low back pain when I'm going to get my period so had I not been pregnant I would have thought that I was about to get the mother of all periods (I guess in a way I was). The cramps actually kept me up that night but again, nothing worth going to the hospital for.
Saturday morning, R and I went out for bagels as I had been craving bagels. I knew that I might be in labor and probably shouldn't eat but I wanted bagels and really no one should deprive a pregnant woman a bagel. As the day went on the cramping continued and got a little more intense. I could still walk and talk through them but I was not comfortable.
The mail came shortly after noon and with it arrived a belly cast that my mother in law had sent us (she thought she had sent it earlier). Now seemed like the perfect time to do the belly cast. So while contracting away (and of course this is when things intensified and I had to close my eyes and breath through the contractions), R did my belly cast. I do not recommend doing this while in active labor. I became super bitchy during this process. I really thought I was going into transitional labor since in our birthing class they say women become extra emotional (i.e. grouchy) during this phase. Anyway, our belly cast is done - with not a moment to spare!!
After showers and getting ready, I finally called the on call OB who suggested I come into the hospital. Around 3:30pm we headed in to the hospital. They immediately hooked me up to the monitors and my contractions were pretty much every 1 minute - hmm, no wonder it seemed like my cramps never went away. The OB checked me and my cervix was still closed. Apparently I have a really tight cervix and it's unlikely that even if Hudson had been head down, he still would not likely have made his way out of the birth canal. So based on the contractions, the OB decided that this was real labor unlike my weeks of contractions and it was time for us to meet our son.
I don't think I had given much thought to how I would react when the time finally came. I had gotten so used to my contractions that somehow I forgot to give real labor any real thought which was probably a good thing. I didn't have any preconceived notions of how I would act. I surprisingly remained very calm. I didn't get all giddy or even nervous. I was just very matter of fact and calm. This is not how I would have ever guessed that I would have reacted.
They drew some labs to make sure I was ready for surgery (considering I'd been on heparin since the day of the IUI back in February) and they put me in a labor room while we waited for the lab results to come back and the OR to be ready. Suddenly while sitting on the bed, I felt what I thought was some gas in my intestines followed by a huge gush of water. My water had broken!!!! I had really wanted to experience my water breaking and was actually quite disappointed that I didn't think I would get to experience this. What felt like gallons and gallons of fluid rushed out of me and every time I moved or I contracted more fluid gushed out. This was not the subtle trickle that some women experience, this was more like the "clean up on aisle 4" water breaking that is usually reserved for the movies. The nurse was very amused about how excited I was about experiencing this.
Speaking of the nurse, we had an awesome L&D nurse. She had been through IVF herself so she "got it". I also mentioned to her that my one disappointment about having a section is that I wouldn't get skin to skin time right away. She said that she would go speak to the OBs and the anesthesiologist and see about doing skin to skin in the OR. This is not the norm but the hospital is really pushing skin to skin so she thought it would be worth a try. I can't say how much that meant to me that she went out of her way to make this happen for me.
About 20 minutes after my water breaking I was wheeled into the OR. They did the spinal which wasn't too bad. The lidocaine before the big needle was the worst part and that only lasted a few seconds. It was a total of a maybe 30 seconds of discomfort so not too bad. The anesthesia takes effect pretty quickly. It's weird not to feel your lower extremities - I was actually pretty much numb up to the nipple line. They prepped my belly (the nurse had already shaved my girl parts while we waited in the L&D room - kind of weird to have someone else shave you down there but then again, I really hadn't seen down there in a few months and with everyone else checking me out "in there", someone shaving me "down there" was no big deal). R was then allowed to join me. She looked like some sort of medical tourist with her paper scrubs, camera and camcorder.
It seemed like only minutes later they announced that they boy was out. I eagerly awaited the cry, not being able to see over the curtain, I needed to hear that reassuring sound of the baby's first cry. It seemed like forever but he did eventually give out a big cry which immediately triggered the tears in me. After a minute or so being looked over by the peds team they brought him over to me for skin to skin time. It was just perfect!
I couldn't have asked for a better day. I got everything I wanted - a taste of labor, my water breaking, an easy c-section and a perfect little baby boy to top things off and all with my wife by my side. I feel incredibly fortunate. I still can't believe that he's here and he's ours. It's surreal. And to think there are 2 more on the way! (OK, this post is really long and it's taken me several days to write it - I'm exhausted. Sorry the end came so abrupt).
Contractions were nothing new for me. I had been contracting regularly for 7 weeks. The contractions were usually every 5-8 minutes unless I exerted myself with strenuous activity such as walking to my car from my office and then I would contract every 3-4 minutes. The contractions were never painful, just more of a nuisance. My belly would get quite hard and my heart rate would speed up a bit. I had monitoring twice per week which in addition to documenting my contractions would also check the baby out. He always tolerated the contractions quite well so we really weren't too worried.
On Friday morning I went in for my usual antepartum monitoring. Despite not having exerted myself, I was contracting every 2-3 minutes on the monitor. As always the antepartum nurse was at a loss for what to do with me. I worked all morning and then had an OB appointment during my lunch hour. My cervix was still totally closed by the OB thought I might be starting to thin out (she guesstimated I was 50% effaced). However I had contracted for 7 weeks without any changes to my cervix so this slight change was nothing to worry about.
That night R and I decided to have a date night, not knowing how many more nights we would have just the 2 of us. We headed to our favorite sushi restaurant were we ordered cooked stuff - not very exciting but it was our date. That evening I started having some mild cramping. My contractions were so close together that it was hard to say whether the cramps were all the time or just when I was contracting. At this point they were mild so I pretty much just ignored them. Overnight the cramps got a little worse and included low back pain. I always get low back pain when I'm going to get my period so had I not been pregnant I would have thought that I was about to get the mother of all periods (I guess in a way I was). The cramps actually kept me up that night but again, nothing worth going to the hospital for.
Saturday morning, R and I went out for bagels as I had been craving bagels. I knew that I might be in labor and probably shouldn't eat but I wanted bagels and really no one should deprive a pregnant woman a bagel. As the day went on the cramping continued and got a little more intense. I could still walk and talk through them but I was not comfortable.
The mail came shortly after noon and with it arrived a belly cast that my mother in law had sent us (she thought she had sent it earlier). Now seemed like the perfect time to do the belly cast. So while contracting away (and of course this is when things intensified and I had to close my eyes and breath through the contractions), R did my belly cast. I do not recommend doing this while in active labor. I became super bitchy during this process. I really thought I was going into transitional labor since in our birthing class they say women become extra emotional (i.e. grouchy) during this phase. Anyway, our belly cast is done - with not a moment to spare!!
After showers and getting ready, I finally called the on call OB who suggested I come into the hospital. Around 3:30pm we headed in to the hospital. They immediately hooked me up to the monitors and my contractions were pretty much every 1 minute - hmm, no wonder it seemed like my cramps never went away. The OB checked me and my cervix was still closed. Apparently I have a really tight cervix and it's unlikely that even if Hudson had been head down, he still would not likely have made his way out of the birth canal. So based on the contractions, the OB decided that this was real labor unlike my weeks of contractions and it was time for us to meet our son.
I don't think I had given much thought to how I would react when the time finally came. I had gotten so used to my contractions that somehow I forgot to give real labor any real thought which was probably a good thing. I didn't have any preconceived notions of how I would act. I surprisingly remained very calm. I didn't get all giddy or even nervous. I was just very matter of fact and calm. This is not how I would have ever guessed that I would have reacted.
They drew some labs to make sure I was ready for surgery (considering I'd been on heparin since the day of the IUI back in February) and they put me in a labor room while we waited for the lab results to come back and the OR to be ready. Suddenly while sitting on the bed, I felt what I thought was some gas in my intestines followed by a huge gush of water. My water had broken!!!! I had really wanted to experience my water breaking and was actually quite disappointed that I didn't think I would get to experience this. What felt like gallons and gallons of fluid rushed out of me and every time I moved or I contracted more fluid gushed out. This was not the subtle trickle that some women experience, this was more like the "clean up on aisle 4" water breaking that is usually reserved for the movies. The nurse was very amused about how excited I was about experiencing this.
Speaking of the nurse, we had an awesome L&D nurse. She had been through IVF herself so she "got it". I also mentioned to her that my one disappointment about having a section is that I wouldn't get skin to skin time right away. She said that she would go speak to the OBs and the anesthesiologist and see about doing skin to skin in the OR. This is not the norm but the hospital is really pushing skin to skin so she thought it would be worth a try. I can't say how much that meant to me that she went out of her way to make this happen for me.
About 20 minutes after my water breaking I was wheeled into the OR. They did the spinal which wasn't too bad. The lidocaine before the big needle was the worst part and that only lasted a few seconds. It was a total of a maybe 30 seconds of discomfort so not too bad. The anesthesia takes effect pretty quickly. It's weird not to feel your lower extremities - I was actually pretty much numb up to the nipple line. They prepped my belly (the nurse had already shaved my girl parts while we waited in the L&D room - kind of weird to have someone else shave you down there but then again, I really hadn't seen down there in a few months and with everyone else checking me out "in there", someone shaving me "down there" was no big deal). R was then allowed to join me. She looked like some sort of medical tourist with her paper scrubs, camera and camcorder.
It seemed like only minutes later they announced that they boy was out. I eagerly awaited the cry, not being able to see over the curtain, I needed to hear that reassuring sound of the baby's first cry. It seemed like forever but he did eventually give out a big cry which immediately triggered the tears in me. After a minute or so being looked over by the peds team they brought him over to me for skin to skin time. It was just perfect!
I couldn't have asked for a better day. I got everything I wanted - a taste of labor, my water breaking, an easy c-section and a perfect little baby boy to top things off and all with my wife by my side. I feel incredibly fortunate. I still can't believe that he's here and he's ours. It's surreal. And to think there are 2 more on the way! (OK, this post is really long and it's taken me several days to write it - I'm exhausted. Sorry the end came so abrupt).
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
hormones and worries
I can't believe that in less than 17 days our baby boy will be here. Yesterday morning I was driving to work and the boy was enjoying his sugar rush from my glass of juice with breakfast. Since he was awake I thought this was a good time to talk to him. I told him that I was looking forward to meeting him and that in less than 3 weeks he would be in my arms. This is when pregnancy hormones took over and the flood gates opened.
It all seems so surreal. After over 3 year of trying to conceive, the thought that we're going to have a baby in our home in less than a month is almost too hard to believe. I know that there are signs that should make me believe - for one I have a huge belly. Everywhere I go, people comment about me being "about to pop" or ask if I have twins. In addition to having a big belly, I also have something in the belly that moves often - again that should be another clue. We also have a nursery set up, a car seat in the car and a pack-n-play set up in our room. Yet I'm still having trouble wrapping my brain around having a real life baby of my own.
Not to mention, I'm still so afraid that something will go wrong. Yes, I know I'm almost 37 weeks but I still worry. My best friend from med school had a good friend whose baby died in utero the night before her scheduled c-section. So now I think of that all the time and it freaks me out. Agg, I'd like to think that I'll be ok when he's out but we all know that that brings with it a whole set of other worries - like SIDS.
Speaking of freaking out - I got some books on raising multiples from the library. OMG they are totally scaring me. If R goes to 36 weeks, we'll have a 5 month old and a set of twins - holy shit!
Most of the moms in the books have twins, there are very few stories of moms with triplets or more. And these twin moms make the first year out to be hell. And these are supposed to be books to help new moms survive.
It all seems so surreal. After over 3 year of trying to conceive, the thought that we're going to have a baby in our home in less than a month is almost too hard to believe. I know that there are signs that should make me believe - for one I have a huge belly. Everywhere I go, people comment about me being "about to pop" or ask if I have twins. In addition to having a big belly, I also have something in the belly that moves often - again that should be another clue. We also have a nursery set up, a car seat in the car and a pack-n-play set up in our room. Yet I'm still having trouble wrapping my brain around having a real life baby of my own.
Not to mention, I'm still so afraid that something will go wrong. Yes, I know I'm almost 37 weeks but I still worry. My best friend from med school had a good friend whose baby died in utero the night before her scheduled c-section. So now I think of that all the time and it freaks me out. Agg, I'd like to think that I'll be ok when he's out but we all know that that brings with it a whole set of other worries - like SIDS.
Speaking of freaking out - I got some books on raising multiples from the library. OMG they are totally scaring me. If R goes to 36 weeks, we'll have a 5 month old and a set of twins - holy shit!
Most of the moms in the books have twins, there are very few stories of moms with triplets or more. And these twin moms make the first year out to be hell. And these are supposed to be books to help new moms survive.
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