Earlier last week R told me she didn't want to find out the sex of the baby. What??? This is from my wife who needs to know everything. She goes on line to find out what happens on TV shows (mostly Survivor) before she watches them. Our friends have nick named her scoop because she always has the inside scoop on things and all of a sudden, she doesn't want to know? It totally threw me off. Had she said that she didn't want to know from the beginning, I would have been ok with that but now it was too late, I was mentally prepared to find out. We tabled the conversation with her saying, "well just give it some thought".
The next day I had my OB appointment. This was my first appt with the actual OB (the 12 week appt was with the nurse practitioner). We weren't scheduled for an u/s, it was just a routine appt - we had a plan to try to convince our OB to scan me. We had never met this OB (I had recently picked her out based on a recommendation from a colleague) so we had no idea if it was going to be a hard sell. While in the waiting room I asked R if she really wanted not to know the gender and I was relieved to know that she had come back to her senses and absolutely wanted to know.
It turns out it wasn't that hard to convince our OB to do an u/s. R made a light hearted lesbian comment and viola, we had an instant sisterhood bond with her (she's also gay) and out came the u/s machine. It had been 4 weeks since we last had seen the baby and it's amazing how big it's gotten. It's so cool to see it moving around. As for gender, we got some great crotch shots. The OB said she couldn't quite tell which really confused us b/c it was pretty obvious that we were seeing boy parts. On one shot (of which we didn't get a picture) there appeared to be the 3 lines of a girl but on all the other angles, there was clearly a penis. I couldn't resist and made the comment "first penis I've ever had in me" which was mostly only funny to me. So in the end our OB concluded that although it looked like a boy, she wasn't quite sure. The boy parts could be umbilical cord parts but I'm not buying it. I'm working out of town this weekend and had one of the OBs at the small rural hospital that I'm working at scan me but we couldn't tell on their 1840's u/s machine.
Because this is a blog and I started this blog to be able to express myself without fear of judgement, I'm going to share my thoughts with you all. I hate to say this and know that I sound like such an ass for even thinking this (especially after all that we've been through) but I was initially a little disappointed that it was a boy. I think my desire to have a girl stems from my really close relationship with my mom, I want that mother daughter bond. (It was just me and my mom until I was 10, then she married my dad (really my step-dad but I don't know my bio dad) but he was a chef so he worked most evenings, so it was still just me and my dad. My little brother is 13 years younger than me, so that wasn't really a factor). I have all sort of irrational fears about being able to love a son as much and also about raising a man. I wished we had more male friends (regardless of the gender of our child) as I want our kids to have strong male role models. I'm starting to get over my disappointment and realistic thoughts are setting in... yes I'll love him no matter what, yes I'll be a good mom to a boy, yes somehow we'll teach him to pee standing up and yes, somehow we'll hopefully raise a good man.
About Me
- Steph
- Wife, Mom, Daughter, Pediatrician, Breastfeeding-baby-wearing Mommy to 3 beautiful babes that took us a long time to get with many ups & downs along the way.
8 comments:
I found out REALLY early that we were probably having a boy, even though I specifically told my dr I didn't want to know. Anyway, I was also a little dissapointed. We tried SO hard for our little guy and I felt so ungrateful and crazy for caring what sex it was. I totally get what you are saying.
And for what it's worth, I absolutely love having a boy. He is amazing in every way.
Hi there. I've been following your blog for a little while. I can't remember if I've ever posted before but congrats on your pregnancy! My partner and I have a five month old baby boy. We didn't find out the gender while my partner was pregnant. I didn't care if we had a boy or girl, but I couldn't picture myself with a son. I always pictured a girl. Right up until the moment he was born, I was picturing a girl. It didn't help that the OB who delivered him told me HE thought it was a girl too.
Well, let me tell you, any thoughts of a girl went right out of my head about two seconds after I saw him. And now that he's here, I can't even imagine having a girl anymore. In fact, when I think about what our family will be like when we have another baby, I always picture two boys. I can't even picture a girl anymore (which probably means it'll be a girl next time! ha ha)
we're in the are we going through the "are we going to find out" conversation right now. i am convinced girls because i really want one, and think i need to know so that if it is a boy i can adjust to that.
i also feel so guilty after all we've been through to conceive. i feel like i should just be grateful. but the truth is i want a girl. and yet i will NO doubt love a boy just as much should that be what we're having!
If it helps any, I felt disappointment with both pregnancies. My first is a boy and I had really, really wanted a girl. The second is a girl but ny then, I was really into the boy side of things and wanted another boy. Crazy weird, I know. :)
I honestly think *everyone* has a desire for one or the other and when it turns out to be different, it just takes some time to readjust.
I too can totally relate to being disappointed when we found out what we were having. I always pictured having a boy, first anyway, and I was so convinced that we were that when we were told it was a girl, i told the Dr. to keep looking, she had to be mistaken. We saw the 3 lines several times and it was quite obvious that there was no mistake.
It took several months to adjust and get use to the idea of a baby girl and now I can tell you that I'm so grateful to have a girl, I can't even imagine having a boy next. And I know many of my friends who have baby boys are so totally in love with their boys that they can't imagine a girl. I think it's instinct to fall in love with whatever you we are given regardless of what we had hoped and/or planned for.
Are you kidding me !!!!
Boys ROCK ! I always wanted a girl but knew I was having a boy....when they told me it WAS in fact a girl I was PISSED. Now I've had the girl.....and since 2 boys. BOYS ROCK !!! Be SOOOO happy that you 'might' be having a boy.
I have to say one thing...I commented that you were for sure having a boy on Careys...but I have to make one comment. It seemed on the ultrasounds of my boys that their sack was attached further back on their little butts....and what you saw was more of their little penis sticking out. Maybe it's the view and shot you got. I'm just not certain that I'd rule out a girl yet.
Now take your pregnant ass upstairs and abuse your rights as a doctor with the ultrasound equipment. :)
I am happily raising a mama's boy. I had thought I wanted a girl as well, but the healing from having this amazing boy, to know I am raising a feminist boy, and putting out in the world a boy raised by a strong loving supportive woman is a great thing. There is also something about the way a boy loves his mama that is just so special.
Just please........no mutilation of genitals...please.
Congrats...glad to see you're doing so well...our first child I was happy it was a boy, but then w/ our second child (and more than likely last) when we found out he was a boy after being told he was a girl was disappointing but then you meet them and your heart melts and it doesn't matter as much. I still get wistful and misty eyed when friends find out they're having girls, but I wouldn't trade my boys for ANYTHING!
Especially now that T is potty training and apparently the guys that have been standing up to pee at urinals for years are all wrong, urinals are for SITTING ON just ask him! :)
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