Send a search party

Last night I had a dream that someone was missing. I don't remember the missing person having a name but I'm pretty sure it was Aunt Flo. There was a big search and rescue operation underway and I was head of the command center. I don't remember how we found her but we finally did. I then e-mailed the nurse at my RE clinic and remember getting a reply that said. "We are all very excited. The entire office erupted in cheers when we heard the good news".

But really, I'm not obsessing about things. I'm calm and not worried at all about my lack of bleeding for the past 48 days. I hope you can sense my sarcasm here. I am analyzing every symptom like I was in my 2ww, not to mention studying the toilet paper like I was actually pregnant (although here I want to see pink or better yet bright red). I've been having some cramping for the past 2 days - surely that's a sign that it's coming. I've been off the provera for 5 days now.

Last night I cried while watching American Idol. It was the show in which Paula, Randy and Simon meet with each contestant individually to tell them if they made it to the part of the show where America gets to vote on them. The contestants were super nervous. Every time the judges told one of them that they made it - I cried. Yup, that's right, I cried for all 12 girls and 12 guys that made it through. I didn't really cry for the ones that didn't make it. But surely all this crying must also be a sign.

So where the hell is she? I just know that she'll show up Friday after my clinic closes and I'll have a hell of time getting a hold of them on the weekend and then Monday is a holiday. I only want to see one specific RE who said that he wanted to be more aggressive with me this time around. I think it's an ego thing and he's miffed that he hasn't gotten me pregnant thing. I say bring on the ego and let's get me pregnant. Now if only my fucking period would show up - I hate this waiting.