Sunday, January 14, 2007

Perfect beta with a barely there baby

Sorry I didn't update yesterday's blog with the beta number. I've been in somewhat of a numb state. The beta came back great at 39,646. According to betabase, that a doubling time of 88 hours which is very appropriate for 6-7 weeks. WTF? I'm just not sure what to do with that information. A perfect beta but a barely there fetal pole with no heartbeat. In my ever optimistic viewpoint, I still have a tiny glimmer of hope. Our next ultrasound will be Tuesday. I have my appointment on Tuesday to discuss why I haven't gotten pregnant with the past 2 IVFs and so now R will tag along, get an u/s and I'm sure we'll discuss what's going on with this embryo and if it truly is dead, we'll make arrangements to get it out (and hopefully to get chromosomes on it). We're waiting to hear from our IVF nurse about when they want R to get another beta.

In the meantime we're doing OK. As I mentioned above, I'm kind of numb. I'm just trying to figure out the best way to be there for R. Up until now, all of the really bad things that have happened to us (dead baby) were in my body, so R did most of the comforting. I now really want to be there for her. She's actually also doing OK as well. Each one of these devastating blows in our quest to become parents actually brings us closer together. I can't imaging how fucking close we'll be by the time we actually have a child.

1 comment:

Jennifer said...

Wow. You two are so lucky to have eachother. The ups and downs of this roller coaster really put Nicole and I through the wringer, but we too ended up on top. Your role reversal is interesting. Now you both can honestly say you know what it feels like to be in each other's shoes. The whole 360 perspective. I'm praying you'll see that all is well on tuesday for both of you and will be looking for your update.