In the past week I've had 4 pregnant teenagers in my practice. That's way more than usual for me. 3 of the 4 did not know that they were pregnant...well they kind of thought that they might be but they didn't for sure. I got to break the news to them (when you're telling a 15 year old that they are pregnant, somehow it's not that exciting. Not like the RE telling me that I am pregnant). The 4th one had gone to a county clinic first and taken a pregnancy test. Of the 4 she was the only one who planned on going through with the pregnancy. The other 3 all wanted abortions. It all made me so sad for these girls. Not the abortion part because I am totally pro-choice and have no problem giving the girls the necessary resources to have an abortion.
The part that makes me sad is that here, I am, a person with all the resources to provide a good life for a child and I'm trying so hard to get pregnant and having very little/no success. Yet these girls get pregnant so easily at a time when it's just not right for them. In the past when I have had positive pregnancy tests, it's been a very happy time. I can't imagine that same moment - the momentous appearance of 2 pink lines on a pregnancy test - being a time of shear panic. That's the part that makes me sad.
We also got news this week that one of our best friends is pregnant. She started trying several months before we did - 2 1/2 years ago. She got pregnant on her 6th cycle, right around the time we started trying. They now have a 2 year old and have been trying for the past 7 months for #2. Well it worked and they are now pregnant with #2 while we're still trying for #1. Here's the real shocking part. The part where I know all my positive thinking is starting work. I'M NOT BITTER.
This is a really weird feeling - the not being bitter part. I'm actually really happy for them and I believe in the next few weeks I will be able to share my really good news with them too. I'm believing all the crap I keep telling myself about how it's going to work this time. I've emerged from the dark place that I was in and I'm now in a bright, sun filled room (it's so bright that it's blinding). I wasn't sure how I would react to hearing that they were pregnant. I thought I would be envious and I hoped that it wouldn't affect our friendship. But now I know that it definitely won't affect it.
They say that good things happen in 3s. I'm hoping that our friend's pg is #1 and R and I are #2 and #3. That would be great.
On a side note - last night was my last birth control pill. I'm still on the lupron. Next u/s is on Monday.
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2 comments:
I tried to ask a question before and it must've been eaten...so you guys are physically both going through IVF? If so, have you guys both been trying essentially at the same time or am I reading the past entries incorrectly?
Mama2BandT
i had the same question as mama2bandt.
regarding your newfound attitude, way to friggin' go! i like it. how do you do it? maybe you just try i guess. if you can try to not be bitter then i feel that i could try to not be so negative. i know that being negative doesn't help prepare oneself should a deadbabydisaster occur, but i find that i just don't know how to be any other way. sad but true.
best of luck with your next go-round. my finger will be crossed for you.
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