Angry

So everyday on my drive home from work, I get to see a huge billboard that says "Are you having your first baby?". That's it, that's all it says and then in the corner it has the logo for one of the local hospitals. I think this billboard was put there just to piss me off everyday. I usually curse at it as I drive by - "fuck you, no I'm not having my first baby, that baby died, mother fucker. I'm also not having my second baby because that baby didn't really grow either." If I wasn't so afraid of heights (and oh yeah, if I wasn't such a law abiding citizen) I would climb up there and spray paint an answer to their stupid, idiotic question.

I mean really, is there really some stupid pregnant woman who drives by this billboard and thinks "Oh my god, I'm having my first baby. I should have it at that hospital." Perhaps this advertising campaign will work on some cracked out whore, but really don't people pick a hospital based on where their OB delivers not off some billboard?

So as you can see I'm having some anger issues right now. IVF #2 has me wound pretty tightly at the moment and I'm not even on any major drugs yet that could be blamed for the bad mood. It's not very fun at the FR household at the moment because I think R is a bit stressed about it too, so we spend a lot of time bickering. Right now, mostly it's me - I find something to fight about. Something small is usually what gets me started, like the grocery store was out of candy corn, how the fuck are they out of candy corn 3 weeks before Halloween. So then I get all pissy when R tries to substitute it with Indian corn. Isn't this the most absurd thing ever. How is this even an argument, I have no idea, but it is. Really it's that the lack of candy corn means more babies will die in my uterus and we'll just have spent another $15,000 for that to happen.

I have my first therapy appointment tomorrow. Sounds like I need it.